Its Been too Long

It has been a long, emotional and stressful month since I last wrote anything. Since the reason for my emotional turmoil would be reading what I write, I decided to just take a break so I would not regret something I had written in an emotional frenzy.

Anyway, I'm still quite emotional and in the process of writing a song. Weird for me, but whatever. I decided that maybe I should post something I have written before instead of something new so I don't focus on said emotions.

I chose a personal essay I had to write for college counselors. It was written in only a few hours and had little to no editing and I know it is not of the best quality. However, I feel that it really conveys who I am. But maybe thats because I already know that... Anyway, I suppose I should let you decide for yourselves. 

Equine Passion

     I walk in the barn, knowing that the wonderful scent of hay and horses will soon grace my nostrils, bringing a flood of memories with it. A sense of comfort envelops me as I walk through the barn because I know I am in my element. The feed room, filled with dust and hay is my first stop. I take a moment to enjoy the sweet aroma of hay before I fix the feed for the horses. With the banging of feed buckets and the rush of grain, the horses know what is coming.  I hear them whicker in excited anticipation. That whicker is a soft low sound reserved for those they care about and those who feed them. I fall under both categories. With the clank of the buckets and the rush of feed once more, I have three contented horses.

     Unlike many “horse girls” my age, I live for these moments. As much as I love riding, venturing through the woods, jumping fallen trees and winning in the show ring, I am content doing nothing but caring for them. I expressed these feelings from an early age; I got just as much joy out of feeding and grooming the horses as I did riding them. I also learned through observation how to diagnose and care for sick horses; I helped with many whose owners were too busy to bother. I would stay up with my instructor and hero, at the time, taking turns walking and watching horses that may or may not make it through the night. Experiences like those left a long lasting impression on my memory.

     Now, at the age of sixteen, I am on my own with my own three horses and parents who are willing to lend a hand. I have successfully given injections in the jugular and, in one case, put my whole arm in my horse’s mouth and into his throat in an attempt to alleviate his choking. It worked, my horse is fine and I still have my arm. I don’t know of many people who would be willing to risk a limb for their pet, but my devotion to horses is above and beyond that of an owner-pet relationship.

     I consider horses to be partners in sport, companions and friends. This is a difficult concept to convey to someone who has never connected with a horse, but I believe that such a connection has made me a stronger person. Horses have been my comfort throughout tough times and still have the ability to brighten my mood whenever I am around them. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without horses but I have a feeling it would be rather dull. I know that, without them, I would join the ranks of the masses that have never had the wonderful experiences that a horse can give.

    Horses have undoubtedly shaped who I am and what I will become. I’ve seen a horse foal, watched many grow up and gain a personality of their own. I’ve been with dying horses and seen them defy all odds. Because of my many equine experiences, I think horses have helped me grow as a person and mature more quickly than many of my peers. Horses have always been there for me and I plan on being there for them for the rest of my life. Horses are my passion.