Mainstream Equestrian Sports

As I sit here reading news and other blogs, I am vaguely aware of the football chaos going on in the room with me. The TV is blaring the announcers' blathering, the occasional cheerleader yelling something silly and the marching band playing the occasional song. Then my dad starts yelling at the TV. I will admit that he doesn't get rowdy and jump up screaming, but he doesn't keep his thoughts to himself either.

"Why do you think Equestrian sports aren't popular in the United States?" I ask him. 

"Well... I don't know."

"You don't like watching it, do you?" I prompt, looking for more than just a dismissal of my question. "Why don't you like watching someone racing around on horseback, jumping over things? Risking death every moment!" Of course, I'm talking about Cross Country jumping, probably the only type of Equestrian sport he has ever watched on TV.

"Well if someone would die occasionally... or at least get carried off in a stretcher..." He is kidding about the dying, of course but it was clear that this was all I was going to get out of him.

It set me thinking about why Equine related sports really aren't mainstream. Surely Stadium jumping or Cross Country would be found interesting by the general public. They would have to admire the sheer athleticism and power of the horse and the balance of their riders. I can see how dressage would be a stretch for the laymen, since they wouldn't understand the complexities behind the flawless technical feats unfolding before their eyes. But surely Cross Country...

I can't seem to wrap my mind around it, why people would not be interested. Any thoughts?

Its Been too Long

It has been a long, emotional and stressful month since I last wrote anything. Since the reason for my emotional turmoil would be reading what I write, I decided to just take a break so I would not regret something I had written in an emotional frenzy.

Anyway, I'm still quite emotional and in the process of writing a song. Weird for me, but whatever. I decided that maybe I should post something I have written before instead of something new so I don't focus on said emotions.

I chose a personal essay I had to write for college counselors. It was written in only a few hours and had little to no editing and I know it is not of the best quality. However, I feel that it really conveys who I am. But maybe thats because I already know that... Anyway, I suppose I should let you decide for yourselves. 

Equine Passion

     I walk in the barn, knowing that the wonderful scent of hay and horses will soon grace my nostrils, bringing a flood of memories with it. A sense of comfort envelops me as I walk through the barn because I know I am in my element. The feed room, filled with dust and hay is my first stop. I take a moment to enjoy the sweet aroma of hay before I fix the feed for the horses. With the banging of feed buckets and the rush of grain, the horses know what is coming.  I hear them whicker in excited anticipation. That whicker is a soft low sound reserved for those they care about and those who feed them. I fall under both categories. With the clank of the buckets and the rush of feed once more, I have three contented horses.

     Unlike many “horse girls” my age, I live for these moments. As much as I love riding, venturing through the woods, jumping fallen trees and winning in the show ring, I am content doing nothing but caring for them. I expressed these feelings from an early age; I got just as much joy out of feeding and grooming the horses as I did riding them. I also learned through observation how to diagnose and care for sick horses; I helped with many whose owners were too busy to bother. I would stay up with my instructor and hero, at the time, taking turns walking and watching horses that may or may not make it through the night. Experiences like those left a long lasting impression on my memory.

     Now, at the age of sixteen, I am on my own with my own three horses and parents who are willing to lend a hand. I have successfully given injections in the jugular and, in one case, put my whole arm in my horse’s mouth and into his throat in an attempt to alleviate his choking. It worked, my horse is fine and I still have my arm. I don’t know of many people who would be willing to risk a limb for their pet, but my devotion to horses is above and beyond that of an owner-pet relationship.

     I consider horses to be partners in sport, companions and friends. This is a difficult concept to convey to someone who has never connected with a horse, but I believe that such a connection has made me a stronger person. Horses have been my comfort throughout tough times and still have the ability to brighten my mood whenever I am around them. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without horses but I have a feeling it would be rather dull. I know that, without them, I would join the ranks of the masses that have never had the wonderful experiences that a horse can give.

    Horses have undoubtedly shaped who I am and what I will become. I’ve seen a horse foal, watched many grow up and gain a personality of their own. I’ve been with dying horses and seen them defy all odds. Because of my many equine experiences, I think horses have helped me grow as a person and mature more quickly than many of my peers. Horses have always been there for me and I plan on being there for them for the rest of my life. Horses are my passion. 

Equestrian Theory :: Bit Theory

In my opinion, bits are often the most misused and misunderstood tool in the equestrian world. Think about it; if you have ever ridden a horse, there is a good chance that the horse had a bit in it's mouth. However, did you stop to think about what that bit might do? How it could effect the horse? What kind of bit was it? Did you even know that there were different kinds of bits? 

Most people don't give bits a second thought. [When I refer to people, I mean everyone who has encountered a horse, not all horse savvy people.] If properly understood, the correct bit can mean the difference between first place at a show and ending up on the ground. 

A bit uses a combination of pressure and leverage in order to convey information to your horse. The intensity and severity of the pressure and leverage differs from bit to bit and, if used improperly, can cause serious harm to you or your horse. 

In order to better explain myself, I will set up a scenario that depicts the kind of damage different bits can do.

Scenario one: You are riding a new and unknown horse for the first time. You don't know much about the horse's history but you know that he is young. Most trainers try to use a simple, gentle bit on young horses to keep their mouths soft and responsive. However, this is not always the case. Going on the simple bit assumption, you use a snaffle which is the most basic bit. You get on your horse, he seems to walk, and trot fine but when you ask for the canter, he takes off like there is no tomorrow. While clinging on to the back of a racing, 1,000 pound animal, teetering precariously 5 feet up in the air, you realize that your locomotive of a horse has no brakes. That happy little snaffle means nothing to this horse. Perhaps he was a high strung show horse or a barrel horse taught to run. At this point, it doesn't matter what your horse was. Your life is now in danger. You have to stop that bullet train with a feather. How are you going to go about doing that? Good question. And good luck. 

Scenario Two: Once again, you are on a relatively unknown, young horse. You are used to using severe bits to control your speed demon animals. Lets say you use a bicycle chain bit. Everyone knows what a bicycle chain looks like, right? Just imagine that in your mouth, grating against bare gums. Does not sound like fun to me. Anyway, you get on your horse and stay in his mouth for a long period of time, trying to set his head, maybe. After a while, the metal starts to cut into his sensitive gums, causing them to bleed. The gums will eventually scar over and you then have a "hard mouthed" young horse. There is also always the possibility of health problems regarding the wounds. Although this scenario does not seem quite as dramatic, you have permanently damaged your young horse that will be with you, or someone else, for many years to come. 

I don't know about you, but neither of these situations sound too fun to me. I would like to stay in one piece and keep my horse safe, healthy and happy. 

Since it would be confusing [for me, anyway] to try and explain bits and their different mechanics without a visual aide, I am going to compile a bit guide in my next post. I will try to include the most common bits along with some of the more obscure in order to help anyone interested gain a better understanding of bits. 

It may take a day or two to compile, but check back soon! Happy Horsing! 

A Homophobic Encounter

I have little tolerance for homophobes. In fact, I sometimes wish I could beat the ignorance and intolerance out of their minds. But of course I am not a violent person and would never really do that.

Anyway, I was in my barn the other day, cleaning stalls, like always. The barn is in progress so there were electricians in the barn doing what electricians do. One of the men started making fun of how our closest gay friend talks. And of course they laugh it off like its no big deal, but really it is. When me and my mum say something about it, the other man throws the religion card at us. I bite my tongue and keep on cleaning stalls, eying the shovel that is only a few feet away. I wondered if he would even notice what was coming before it hit him. Probably not. I kept cleaning stalls.

My mum and the electricians keep up a "friendly" banter about the subject while I work in the stall, glaring the whole time. The religion man says that he does not believe that a person can be born gay. [In addition to saying something about it being against the Bible. Go figure.]

"Oh really?" my mom says, "But why would they choose to be...?"
"Exactly".

Of course at this point, I have to say something.

"Do you realize that you just contradicted yourself in only one word?"

I don't clearly remember what happened after this, partially because his electrician partner was laughing so hard and partially because of the dialog going on in my head. If I had been given the time, I probably could have changed this man's mind. Or at least made him think about what he was saying.

If I had been given the chance, I probably would have said something like this:

"Why would a person choose to be gay? Do you realize what kind of discrimination they have to go through in order to be open about who they are? Most of all, they have to listen to men like you. Now please tell me, Why would anyone choose to be gay?"

I know that is not the best argument possible but when I am angry, it is difficult for me to think straight. I was so mad; someone was in my barn, bashing one of my best friends, pulling the religion card and getting away with it. If it was up to me, he would have been gone at that moment. There are plenty of electricians out there.

Uggh! The frustration runneth over. I just don't know what to say. I will be surprised if this ends up make much sense.

I guess I'll go calm myself now.

Equine Therapy

I am in the beginnings of the "What do I want to do with my life?" phase. I have many options open to me, but I am not sure which direction I should take. I was recently directed towards an art school in Georgia called Savannah College of Art and Design. They have a brand new equestrian facility and, supposedly, give equestrian scholarships. I looked at the website but did not find much more than a few pictures of the new barn and a roster. I looked at the majors offered at SCAD. All pertaining to art and design. Duh.

I would love to be a graphic artists or an interior designer but I just don't think that I have the creativity to do something like that. [Well, I have the creativity just not the passion to drive said creativity] Long story short, nothing looked good to me.

Another school I have contemplated seems absolutely perfect for me. Tons of equestrian majors, anything from Equine Sciences to training to barn management. All at Lake Erie College in Ohio. Wait, Ohio? Hmm... I happen to extremely dislike Ohio. I went once for a horse show and swore I would never go back. Lake Erie is out.

All this led me to contemplate what I really want to do and go from there. I would love to be a surgeon but I don't have the brains. Psychiatry appeals to me but then again, I don't have the book smarts to make it through medical school. Maybe Psychology? It seems to fit me better than my other options. Then again, I am not one that enjoys the clinical atmosphere. I would rather be outside 99% of the time.

I have been thinking about this for some time but until recently, it was only a dream. I want to be an Equine Therapist. No, I won't be advising horses on how to cope with new environments or anything like that. I want to use horses as a tool for learning and healing. I want to be a therapist but I want to use horses to help me. There is a certain tranquility around horses that seems to put me into a good mood no matter what. I want to use what I love the most in order to help others.

So here is my grand plan. My parents and I [more like my parents but hey, I'm the inspiration behind it all] own about 40 acres of land with a house, a pond, a swimming pool, several acres of trails, woods, natural springs, a barn and, most importantly, three lovely horses. My barn is being built, but when it is finished, it will be a wonderful place. Of course all of this is being done in time for me to go off to college. My mom wants me to stay near by, I want to experience the world and who knows what goes on in my dad's mind. I want to, one day, turn my barn into a safe-haven for those who need it most.

I have had experience working in a non-profit riding therapy barn and know that I would not want to go that rout. There are too many risks involved, too many precautions and not enough freedom. I also know from experience that I enjoy working with the emotionally challenged children and adolescents more than the ones with physical or mental disabilities.

I would like to try and take the stress and embarrassment out of therapy for older children and teens. I know it can be rough when adults think you need to see a therapist but I also know that, in the proper atmosphere, it could be even enjoyable. I want it to be fun. I want it to be a unique experience that has the ability to really get through to people. I want it to be different. Even adults need that.

I want to eventually have other, smaller animals that are on the same level as the smaller children. There is nothing more intimidating than a horse when you are a mere two feet tall. Or four. Or whatever. Horses are not for everyone, I know. But, they may still want the tranquility that comes with the country. They may want to walk in the woods while having a heart to heart talk or gaze out over the pond while divulging their innermost demons. Maybe they do want the animals to help them. Thats where the miniature donkey comes in. Or the pony. Or the miniature horse. Or the chickens, ducks, dogs, cats, sheep, pigs and whatever else I might take on.

I want to be able to reach out to those who have no hope. Maybe emotionally or financially. Maybe there is a child who needs therapy but his insurance wont cover it. Maybe there is also a businessman who needs a weekend away from the stresses of the city. Part of that businessman's [or woman's] fees would go towards getting that child therapy. In addition to feeding all my therapy animals, of course :]

This is my ideal situation. Using horses and other animals to help people. People helping others who need it the most. I know it sounds very idealistic and unrealistic at best but I want this to become my reality.

This is my dream.

Questions for the Conservatives

I know, I know. It's been a while. But hey, I do have a life.

Anyway, I was on the way to work, thinking about a conversation that was had in my Anatomy and Physiology class. My teacher seems to be a conservative type. Religious. "Pro-life". You know the deal. She was talking about a friend whose son was born without a left ventricle [a critical part of the heart for those not in the know]. Her friends decided not to do anything about the incomplete heart and let nature take it's course, so to speak. Of course, the baby died within four days. 

The same teacher also "knows" someone who had a child with the same problem [sometimes I wonder how this woman knows so many people with strange diseases and birth defects]. This family opted to operate on the child who is now four and will need a heart transplant sometime in the near future. Although, I'm sure said child has loving, and most likely wealthy parents, He or she will have to go through many surgeries throughout his or her short life. 

My teacher seemed to think that letting the new born die naturally with no stressful surgeries was a bad choice. Instead of giving the child the best four days possible, she would have rather subjected him to a life of pain and suffering. When a student made a comment about the quality of life the child would have, my teacher replied "Yes, but if there is any chance of life, I would take it". 

If I was the baby and it was my choice, I would want to live four happy days in which I was the little miracle rather than live a life strapped to a heart monitor in which I was known as the patient. 

Constantly weighted down by the burden of a defective heart. Constantly being watched, by worried parents and doctors alike. Knowing that your life will be significantly shorter than average. Never knowing when you will be able to get a heart for a transplant. Worrying about whether your body will accept the foreign organ. Knowing that someone had to die in order for you to live.

All of these things are burdens that the child would have to bear, assuming that the child makes it through infancy and early childhood. Would you want that? Would you want that for your child? I know that I wouldn't.

All of this led to the questions I am about to ask. Any insight would be wonderful, but I am specifically asking any conservatives who might happen by. I truly do not understand why conservatives hold the views that they do. Maybe if I know the thoughts behind them, I will understand the choices better.

Question One:

On the issue of Gay Marriage. 

Do you really oppose the thought of a homosexual couple having the same rights as a heterosexual couple? Or do you dislike gays all together? Is it a matter of unexplained hatred or conflicting moral values? Do you oppose it because of your religious beliefs? If so, why? If it does not directly affect you, then why are you opposed to gay rights? 

Question Two:

On the issue of abortion.

When you oppose legal abortion, do you think about the child? Do you consider the quality of life that an unwanted child may have? Do you think about the life that child could destroy and the resentment that could follow? Do you just think about a little pink baby being killed and disposed of? Do you think about the consequences of a "black market abortion"? [An illegal abortion, done in possibly unsanitary conditions under less than desirable circumstances.]

These were the only questions I thought about on the drive to work, so I thought I would save any others for a second installment! Yay!! Haha :]

Well as a note, I would like to say that I am asking these questions purely out of curiosity. I would like to know the thought process behind some conservative views and the questions are in no way meant to be offensive. Thank you in advance for any feedback you may have!

 

Equestrian Theory :: An Art

I think that I came up with Equestrian Theory in the first place because I feel that it is an art as much as it is a sport. Many people never bother to learn anything more than how to balance, go and stop. I know that it really is none of my business what other people do but I feel that many riders and horses alike could benefit greatly from a better understanding and communication.

Communication is the fundamental element behind horseback riding. Without clear communication, it can mean frustration for the rider and even pain for the horse. If a rider is in tune with her [or his] horse then he or she should be able to tell if the horse is in pain, upset, energized or sluggish. Anyone can tell if a horse if hyper or lazy but do they always know why? A horse can be hyped up for many reasons.

1. It is windy outside. It is widely known among horse people than a windy day means an unpredictable horse.
2. The horse is in a new environment. New places often make a horse nervous and extra spooky.
3. The horse has been stalled for an extended amount of time. This just means that he or she has a lot of energy that could not be released in a stall.
4. The horse is on a trail ride or at a show. Many horses love these environments and get excited.
5. Do you know the horse? It may be normal for this horse to be high strung.
6. Are you nervous? Horses are in tune with our emotions and can pick up on them easily. If you are tense, chances are your horse will pick up on it. Try to relax and sooth your horse.

To pick up on the subtle differences, you must truly have an understanding of how the equine works. If you are creating the problem, then you should be able to recognize it and correct it. Such an understanding can save you and your horse hours of frustration.

Let me make a comparison for those who are not following me. In any form of partnered dancing, whether it is ballet, ballroom dancing or any thing else, there must be clear but silent communication between the partners in order to create a flawless performance. Just like with horseback riding, this requires hours of practice, false starts and discussions. If you are having an off day, your partner will most likely pick up on it without any verbal communication. This works the same way with horse and rider. The two must practice to achieve that level of silent communication but once it is established, it pays off immensely.

As with anything else, it takes a certain amount of dedication, patience and skill in order to arrive at that level. No one will expect you to be able to pick up these subtle equine cues the first time you ride but there is a certain point at which it is expected. However, many student riders do not realize that there is such an art of communication and never look for the signs. I was not taught these subtilities of riding by any instructor or book. I was taught by a horse.

If we listen to them, they tell us exactly what we need to know. If you think your horse is telling you something, explore all of your options until you find what he is saying.

Leana is a Culinary Odity

[Note: I have had a very busy and stressful week and have not felt like Blogging. I am now in New York City, which has made me want to blog more. Maybe.]

I have very strange eating habits. As an example, I don't like for my food to touch on the plate. However, some of my favourite foods are interesting mixes. I recently discovered that I love avocado, rice and soy sauce together. I don't know of anyone else who likes this, nor have I even heard of anyone doing this before. I am weird, I know. 

Earlier today, made another interesting discovery about myself. I like avocado and goat cheese together. Yes, you read that right. Avocado and goat cheese. 

Anyway, hope I didn't make anyone vomit! Cheers!

Equestrian Theory :: An Introduction

As I'm sure you have realized by now, I ride horses. Shocker, I know. I have ever since I was 9 and its been all downhill since then. First came the pony, then the horse, then the second pony then the show horse. Then came the F-250, the 3 horse trailer, the 40 acres the free horse and then the barn. 

Naturally, people who know nothing have asked me to give them or their children horseback riding lessons. Although I would like to give lessons, earning money doing something I enjoy, I don't particularly want to teach children. First of all, I would have to deal with the nervous parents. Horses are big and scary animals that like to kill small children on a regular basis. Everyone knows that. Then I would have to deal with the children themselves. Kids under the age of about 10 seem to scare me anyway. They don't always listen to me because I am closer to their age than their parents.  Then letting them loose on a 1,000 pound animal is just a recipe for disaster. 

Even if I did take on a young, attentive, equine obsessed student, I would then have to face the problem that they might not understand my methods of teaching. I would teach what I call Equestrian Theory. Even my love has a hard time following my ideas and he would be the most likely of anyone to understand them. 

Equestrian Theory revolves around the idea that a person with no prior horseback experience can learn a more comprehensive and theoretical based way to ride. Trying to learn how to do something while controlling a horse can be difficult and intimidating. However, I think that learning the concept and mechanics behind steering* before you attempt it can improve your results dramatically. I know this may sound like a gimmick-y weight loss commercial, but it makes sense that to understand how to do something before you do it. You wouldn't start playing chess without first reading the rules or having someone explain it to you. 

A good example of Equestrian Theory in action is my dad. He has been watching me take lessons and ride for years in addition to listening to me explain things that he may or may not understand. I put him on my show horse a few months ago just expecting to walk him around like he was on a pony ride. However, he insisted that I let him ride and shocked me. He was able to walk, trot and post in addition to keeping my horse's head set with out trouble. That was when I realized that Equestrian Theory really could work. 

*Steering a horse is much more difficult than steering a car. The horse you are riding, the saddle and bridle you are riding in and the discipline you are riding are all factors to consider when steering. We will say that you are riding a horse in an english saddle (all purpose) with single reigns in a snaffle bit. Already over your head? Don't worry about it. 

First you need to know how to hold the reigns and where to hold your hands. Your hands should stay low and close to you, about 4 inches apart, 4-5 inches in front of you and 3-4 inches above the horse's neck. Your elbows should be slightly bent and stay that way the entire time you ride. Your fingers, legs, seat bones and weight should be largely responsible for steering, with your arms moving only slightly. 

Now that you know where your hands should go, you can learn how to turn. If you wish to turn right, you will do several things simultaneously to achieve a precise and almost undetectable turn. Since there are several things to consider, I will just list them rather than trying to tie them together.

1. Look slightly in the direction that you want to go. [In this case, look to your right]
   
2. Shift your weight to your right seat bone without shifting the weight in your stirrups.
3. Pull your right reign with your right ring finger by tightening your hand into a loose fist. Pull your whole hand back to you [not up, down or out] if it is necessary.  
4. Put pressure on your horse's side with your calf. In this case, you are "pushing" him in the direction you want to go. [Use your left leg to go right] 

Then, you must do all of this while maintaining light contact with the horse's mouth.

Riding properly really is not as easy as people assume it is. Now for the explanations behind each act.

1. By looking where you want to go, your horse can feel you turn slightly in the saddle and, depending on his or her training, will know that you want to turn before you actually ask for it.
2. Shifting your weight serves the same purpose as looking where you want to go. Your horse feels the weight on his right side and may know that you want to turn.
3. Using your fingers to turn rather than your whole hand, wrist or arm is mostly for the benefit of the horse. The reigns are attached to a bit which is made of metal. The bit rests in the horse's mouth called the bars. The bars are basically gums. Imagine someone yanking on your mouth with a heavy piece of metal. Not too pleasant.
4. Most horses are trained to respond to leg pressure for multiple reasons. One reason is to make the communication between horse and rider appear effortless. Little or no movement from the rider's hands looks cleaner. This is an essential component in dressage. Also, many working horses such as roping horses need to be guided while their rider is using their hands for other tasks.

As you can see, Equestrian Theory is not always easy to follow, but if explained properly it can be very comprehensive and informative. If you even read all of that, I applaud you. And now you see why I am apprehensive about teaching a 7-year-old. 

Earth to...?

Leana is too detached to post tonight but hopefully she will drop an anchor and get back on it soon. Maybe something interesting will even ooze from her brain into the computer. Sounds messy, but you never know. 

Oh! And Leana has a new look. Like?

[Remember how Leana is when she blogs in third person? Rawr]

Previously on Morning Rise.

Last night, I posted a blog concerning the recent murders of two seperate sets of sisters by their fathers. [Eh, such a mouthfull] I got some interesting feedback that made me think about the issue and how my post was perceived by others.

First, I will adress the religious aspect of the post. It has come to my attention that honor killings are "pre-islamic" and not religious at all. The horrible acts are, supposidly, culturaly related. Although one could argue that many religions, such as Judaism and Hinduism, are cultures within themselves, I am not going to touch on that aspect. Is a culture that supports honor killings any better than a religion that does the same? I have a question for the man who killed his daughters because they began dating boys and wearing western clothing. If you are willing to murder because of your culture, why would you move to a country that promotes [or, at the least] accepts individuality? If you immerse your children in such a culture, they are most likely going to adopt it as their own.

This is something that blows my mind no matter where it occurs.

In the case of the man who killed his step daughters as a result of a "spell gone wong", this is obviously a case of a very sick man using a relitively unknown religious practice as an excuse for his crimes.

And, yes, I know that everyone religious is not a crazy person running around killing others. I also know that not all crazy people who run around killing others are religious. It just seems to me that religion, if you choose to practice it, should be peaceful and helpful rather than discriminatory and persecuting. Why would people want to worship a god who would condone murder?

I hope that, one day, people will see the light, so to speak, and practice peacfully.

What about a Man Period?

Sometimes I really hate being female. Really.

I will spare any details but it is just flat out unpleasant. The moment we are born, we are condemned to a life of pain. Sometimes I think it is just unfair. But of course I have heard it the other way around too, so I suppose it all depends on who you are and your point of view. 

Things like this make me think about male sexual discrimination. A weird thing, right? But if you think about it, the men in our country are expected to do all sorts of things women aren't. First of all that is possibly the most discriminatory is the draft. All male, American citizens have to register for the draft. And if you don't, from what I've heard, your future is pretty much effed up all over the place. But that is also a difficult one to solve. Can you really have every American citizen sign up for the draft once they turn 18? Somehow that just screams disaster. 

On a different note, men are hardly ever granted full or primary custody of their children unless their [soon-to-be] ex wife is certifiably crazy. Plenty of men are just as capable of providing nurturing homes for their children as most women. I happen to personally know two families with no contact with the mother and I know a few more who shouldn't. To use an example that almost anyone can understand [although I hate using celebrities as models] KFed now has sole custody of his children. That can only mean that Brittany has a real problem. And, thanks to the media, we know all about that.

Another prominent male-linked stereotype is being solely responsible for earning [at least the majority of] the money. And if he doesn't, people often shake their heads while he isn't looking and wonder "What was she thinking?" Since all of these problems are the fault of hundreds of years of tradition and stereotyping, it will most likely take hundreds of years before said stereotypes a fully erased from human society. 

Maybe some men enjoy the sense of responsibility and so-called manliness. Maybe they don't. What is a man to do? Get his man period?

SADDs? Or just sad?

There's something about this time of year that really gets to me. I don't want do to anything but sleep and eat. What's new, right? Well now it's worse than any other time of year. I first noticed that my depression hits about this time of year when I was in 7th grade but who knows how long it had been going on before that. The weird thing about it is that I love winter. Something about the cold, the ice and the prospect of snow that lies just beyond my grasp.

It's probably school. Something about the fact that you're halfway done but it feels like a lifetime. So much pressure. It's like everything you do at this point dictates the rest of your life. It's a wonder more teens and 20-somethings don't commit suicide. The pressure from parents and teachers and any other relative figure is overwhelming. And if I want to have any sort of future, I have to continue my suicidal rush towards graduation, life and certain death. Depressing, eh? Well I certainly thing so.

Times like this make me wonder how many others feel this way. Desperate. Depressed. Suicidal. Pointless.

Don't mind me, just my depressing thoughts of the day. Have fun!