Floating

Here we are, suspended in this life, floating. Not moving forwards or backwards but diving and dipping, ascending and falling. All we can do now is wait.

As we wait for the long desired change, we can only think. Some of us choose not to, occupying their minds with either a barrage of information or blocking it out by means of drugs and alcohol.

I choose to think. This may not be the best option for me, as I tend to overthink, but not thinking is a falsity. My thoughts provide me with an internal rollercoaster that belies my suspended state. These thoughts carry me outside of my life, making the monotony bearable.

A Homophobic Encounter

I have little tolerance for homophobes. In fact, I sometimes wish I could beat the ignorance and intolerance out of their minds. But of course I am not a violent person and would never really do that.

Anyway, I was in my barn the other day, cleaning stalls, like always. The barn is in progress so there were electricians in the barn doing what electricians do. One of the men started making fun of how our closest gay friend talks. And of course they laugh it off like its no big deal, but really it is. When me and my mum say something about it, the other man throws the religion card at us. I bite my tongue and keep on cleaning stalls, eying the shovel that is only a few feet away. I wondered if he would even notice what was coming before it hit him. Probably not. I kept cleaning stalls.

My mum and the electricians keep up a "friendly" banter about the subject while I work in the stall, glaring the whole time. The religion man says that he does not believe that a person can be born gay. [In addition to saying something about it being against the Bible. Go figure.]

"Oh really?" my mom says, "But why would they choose to be...?"
"Exactly".

Of course at this point, I have to say something.

"Do you realize that you just contradicted yourself in only one word?"

I don't clearly remember what happened after this, partially because his electrician partner was laughing so hard and partially because of the dialog going on in my head. If I had been given the time, I probably could have changed this man's mind. Or at least made him think about what he was saying.

If I had been given the chance, I probably would have said something like this:

"Why would a person choose to be gay? Do you realize what kind of discrimination they have to go through in order to be open about who they are? Most of all, they have to listen to men like you. Now please tell me, Why would anyone choose to be gay?"

I know that is not the best argument possible but when I am angry, it is difficult for me to think straight. I was so mad; someone was in my barn, bashing one of my best friends, pulling the religion card and getting away with it. If it was up to me, he would have been gone at that moment. There are plenty of electricians out there.

Uggh! The frustration runneth over. I just don't know what to say. I will be surprised if this ends up make much sense.

I guess I'll go calm myself now.

Equine Therapy

I am in the beginnings of the "What do I want to do with my life?" phase. I have many options open to me, but I am not sure which direction I should take. I was recently directed towards an art school in Georgia called Savannah College of Art and Design. They have a brand new equestrian facility and, supposedly, give equestrian scholarships. I looked at the website but did not find much more than a few pictures of the new barn and a roster. I looked at the majors offered at SCAD. All pertaining to art and design. Duh.

I would love to be a graphic artists or an interior designer but I just don't think that I have the creativity to do something like that. [Well, I have the creativity just not the passion to drive said creativity] Long story short, nothing looked good to me.

Another school I have contemplated seems absolutely perfect for me. Tons of equestrian majors, anything from Equine Sciences to training to barn management. All at Lake Erie College in Ohio. Wait, Ohio? Hmm... I happen to extremely dislike Ohio. I went once for a horse show and swore I would never go back. Lake Erie is out.

All this led me to contemplate what I really want to do and go from there. I would love to be a surgeon but I don't have the brains. Psychiatry appeals to me but then again, I don't have the book smarts to make it through medical school. Maybe Psychology? It seems to fit me better than my other options. Then again, I am not one that enjoys the clinical atmosphere. I would rather be outside 99% of the time.

I have been thinking about this for some time but until recently, it was only a dream. I want to be an Equine Therapist. No, I won't be advising horses on how to cope with new environments or anything like that. I want to use horses as a tool for learning and healing. I want to be a therapist but I want to use horses to help me. There is a certain tranquility around horses that seems to put me into a good mood no matter what. I want to use what I love the most in order to help others.

So here is my grand plan. My parents and I [more like my parents but hey, I'm the inspiration behind it all] own about 40 acres of land with a house, a pond, a swimming pool, several acres of trails, woods, natural springs, a barn and, most importantly, three lovely horses. My barn is being built, but when it is finished, it will be a wonderful place. Of course all of this is being done in time for me to go off to college. My mom wants me to stay near by, I want to experience the world and who knows what goes on in my dad's mind. I want to, one day, turn my barn into a safe-haven for those who need it most.

I have had experience working in a non-profit riding therapy barn and know that I would not want to go that rout. There are too many risks involved, too many precautions and not enough freedom. I also know from experience that I enjoy working with the emotionally challenged children and adolescents more than the ones with physical or mental disabilities.

I would like to try and take the stress and embarrassment out of therapy for older children and teens. I know it can be rough when adults think you need to see a therapist but I also know that, in the proper atmosphere, it could be even enjoyable. I want it to be fun. I want it to be a unique experience that has the ability to really get through to people. I want it to be different. Even adults need that.

I want to eventually have other, smaller animals that are on the same level as the smaller children. There is nothing more intimidating than a horse when you are a mere two feet tall. Or four. Or whatever. Horses are not for everyone, I know. But, they may still want the tranquility that comes with the country. They may want to walk in the woods while having a heart to heart talk or gaze out over the pond while divulging their innermost demons. Maybe they do want the animals to help them. Thats where the miniature donkey comes in. Or the pony. Or the miniature horse. Or the chickens, ducks, dogs, cats, sheep, pigs and whatever else I might take on.

I want to be able to reach out to those who have no hope. Maybe emotionally or financially. Maybe there is a child who needs therapy but his insurance wont cover it. Maybe there is also a businessman who needs a weekend away from the stresses of the city. Part of that businessman's [or woman's] fees would go towards getting that child therapy. In addition to feeding all my therapy animals, of course :]

This is my ideal situation. Using horses and other animals to help people. People helping others who need it the most. I know it sounds very idealistic and unrealistic at best but I want this to become my reality.

This is my dream.

Questions for the Conservatives

I know, I know. It's been a while. But hey, I do have a life.

Anyway, I was on the way to work, thinking about a conversation that was had in my Anatomy and Physiology class. My teacher seems to be a conservative type. Religious. "Pro-life". You know the deal. She was talking about a friend whose son was born without a left ventricle [a critical part of the heart for those not in the know]. Her friends decided not to do anything about the incomplete heart and let nature take it's course, so to speak. Of course, the baby died within four days. 

The same teacher also "knows" someone who had a child with the same problem [sometimes I wonder how this woman knows so many people with strange diseases and birth defects]. This family opted to operate on the child who is now four and will need a heart transplant sometime in the near future. Although, I'm sure said child has loving, and most likely wealthy parents, He or she will have to go through many surgeries throughout his or her short life. 

My teacher seemed to think that letting the new born die naturally with no stressful surgeries was a bad choice. Instead of giving the child the best four days possible, she would have rather subjected him to a life of pain and suffering. When a student made a comment about the quality of life the child would have, my teacher replied "Yes, but if there is any chance of life, I would take it". 

If I was the baby and it was my choice, I would want to live four happy days in which I was the little miracle rather than live a life strapped to a heart monitor in which I was known as the patient. 

Constantly weighted down by the burden of a defective heart. Constantly being watched, by worried parents and doctors alike. Knowing that your life will be significantly shorter than average. Never knowing when you will be able to get a heart for a transplant. Worrying about whether your body will accept the foreign organ. Knowing that someone had to die in order for you to live.

All of these things are burdens that the child would have to bear, assuming that the child makes it through infancy and early childhood. Would you want that? Would you want that for your child? I know that I wouldn't.

All of this led to the questions I am about to ask. Any insight would be wonderful, but I am specifically asking any conservatives who might happen by. I truly do not understand why conservatives hold the views that they do. Maybe if I know the thoughts behind them, I will understand the choices better.

Question One:

On the issue of Gay Marriage. 

Do you really oppose the thought of a homosexual couple having the same rights as a heterosexual couple? Or do you dislike gays all together? Is it a matter of unexplained hatred or conflicting moral values? Do you oppose it because of your religious beliefs? If so, why? If it does not directly affect you, then why are you opposed to gay rights? 

Question Two:

On the issue of abortion.

When you oppose legal abortion, do you think about the child? Do you consider the quality of life that an unwanted child may have? Do you think about the life that child could destroy and the resentment that could follow? Do you just think about a little pink baby being killed and disposed of? Do you think about the consequences of a "black market abortion"? [An illegal abortion, done in possibly unsanitary conditions under less than desirable circumstances.]

These were the only questions I thought about on the drive to work, so I thought I would save any others for a second installment! Yay!! Haha :]

Well as a note, I would like to say that I am asking these questions purely out of curiosity. I would like to know the thought process behind some conservative views and the questions are in no way meant to be offensive. Thank you in advance for any feedback you may have!

 

Odd News #5

I have noticed an alarming number of reported plane crashes in the recent months. I am not sure if this is because I am reading more news or if it is because more planes are, in fact, crashing. Either way, this news story brought to you by CNN takes the cake for me.

(CNN) -- At least seven people were killed Wednesday when a Polish military transport aircraft carrying passengers who had attended a flight-safety conference crashed in northwest Poland, military officials said.

This tragic and ironic bit of news baffles me.

New York at a Glance

For the past five days I have been in New York City. It happens to be one if my favourite cities and I typically do the same thing over and over again. This trip, however, we decided to do things differently. [we meaning me and my mother, by the way.]

The night that we got there, we really only had time to check in, unpack, eat and collapse. After a breif issue with our original room, [one bed instead of two, a view of the alley, etc.] one if the nice hotel employees, lovingly nicknamed "Gold Tooth", listed some restaurants for us that he enjoys. We eventually decided on Japanese, mostly because it was close by. We found the Hakata Grill easily and were surprised by the nice and original decor. Not to mention the food. The food was to die for. Check plus for trying something new.

The next day was successful and frustrating. We got a late start but found the store that my love requested with no problems. We then took several hours to find B&H camera only to discover that it had closed hours earlier. I thought I had put the correct address into my iPhone but it turns out that I had swapped a 2 for a 4 and we were about 16 blocks down from where we should have been. We did find some interesting shops and food along the way but the fruitless walking overshadowed that at the time. We were also supposed to go to Greenwich village that day but after the B&H drama, I insisted that we hop the subway and get back to the hotel.

I pseudo-napped for a few hours while my mom watched TV and ordered some Hakata to be delivered before we skipped around the block to see Spring Awakening. Of course, SA was wonderful as always but there were some surprises in the cast. For one, Kate Burton [Ellis Grey from Grey's Anatomy] had taken on the roll of the Adult Women. Big excitement for us!

Saturday was our day for shopping and actually finding Greenwich Village. Bleeker street [Magnolia Bakery, anyone?] was definitely the best over all for off 5th shopping but the best shop was this wonderful little store called MXYPLYZYK. Don't ask me what that stands for, I have no idea. But it was nifty and I loved it. [After a little bit of "research" I discovered that it is in fact pronounced "Mix-ee-pliz-ik"] We also traipsed up to 5th and wandered the lovely Apple Store. Did you know that it is open 24/7/365? Crazy! 

Sunday was... a little hectic and hurried. We spent all of 30 minutes running through MoMA, taking pictures of everything that struck my fancy. We made sure we saw "Starry Night" and that was about it. We ran down to 49th, saw SA and went back up to the MoMA Gift stores. They closed and we froze all the way to "Ruby Foo's" [which was nothing special] and grabbed a train to Sephora. All of this in the 5 degree wind chill factor weather.  

In all of this, there are some blank spots. It seems like we did a lot of things that I don't really remember. That can't be good, eh?

Leana is a Culinary Odity

[Note: I have had a very busy and stressful week and have not felt like Blogging. I am now in New York City, which has made me want to blog more. Maybe.]

I have very strange eating habits. As an example, I don't like for my food to touch on the plate. However, some of my favourite foods are interesting mixes. I recently discovered that I love avocado, rice and soy sauce together. I don't know of anyone else who likes this, nor have I even heard of anyone doing this before. I am weird, I know. 

Earlier today, made another interesting discovery about myself. I like avocado and goat cheese together. Yes, you read that right. Avocado and goat cheese. 

Anyway, hope I didn't make anyone vomit! Cheers!

Odd News #4

Seriously? That is all I have to say.

LONDON, England (CNN) -- British twins who had been separated at birth learned they were related only after they had become husband and wife, a senior British lawmaker said. The marriage has been annulled.

You would think that they would have noticed that they looked alike. Or maybe had the same birthday. Maybe? This is really just beyond weird to me that adoption agencies could allow something like this. First to separate the twins then not inform them that they actually have a twin somewhere out there. Not to mention warning them not to marry said twin.

The rest of the article doesn't talk much at all about this interesting situation but you can go here to read it.

This is why Genetic Engineering might be a good idea.

Earlier today I overheard a conversation concerning the mother who
sold her sons car because she found a bottle of alcohol under the
front seat. Both parties thought the punishment was ridiculous but
only one party seemed to understand why having a bottle of alcohol in
a vehicle is legal.

Middle aged woman: "Have you never heard of the open container law?!"

17 year old guy: "Yeah, but it has a top!"

I seriously fear for the future of our male population.

Testing 1, 2, 3

I have been having problems. Yes, the worst kind of problem possible. 

Blogging Problems.

Maybe it's because I am new to blogger. Maybe I am just confused easily. Or maybe both. I'm not sure. I did figure out how to blog from my iPhone, finally. [For anyone interested, I wrote the politics blog while 'listening' to a recovering AA speaker* this morning. So if it is a slight bit disjointed or whatever, don't blame me.] I changed my look because the other one was just too plain. I didn't feel like making my own because HTML makes me want to throw my computer out the window. So I chose another template and tried to mess with the fonts to make it the size I wanted but it somehow went wrong and I have changed the fonts and font sizes about six times now. I think I have the problems fixed but who knows. 

In other words, this is a test.

*Alcoholics Anonymous speaker. Who used her name. Ironic?

Odd News #3

This is a very strange and somewhat random piece of news from Fox.

An 11-year-old girl was hit by a stray bullet while horseback riding at a rural farm in Tennessee, WSMV-TV reported.

Allie Nadeau was in an enclosed area with her riding instructor when she was shot in the buttocks, according to the station.

"Another inch higher, she could have been paralyzed," horse trainer Wren Fraser told WSMV-TV. "Another few inches higher, she could have been down on the spot."

Doctors said Nadeau will survive and have decided not to remove the bullet because it will cause more pain for the young girl.

I assume by "enclosed area" they mean and indoor arena. And by indoor arena I assume they mean the bullet had to travel through some sort of wall before it reached the girl's so-called buttocks. It irks me that they don't followup on the story by saying that it was something like a stray hunter's bullet or they just flat out don't know where it came from

Hmm, I hope I don't get hit by a stray bullet while riding any time soon. I don't think that would be too much fun

Is it really all Politics?

Last night, while I was speaking in third person, I had a strange sort
of revelation.

I was thinking about the election of '08 and speculating that the country needs a good, flexible Moderate president. No matter who is elected, it will be nearly impossible to make a majority of the American population happy. If a Conservative is elected, Liberals will be unhappy and the other way around.

This train of thought led me to think about the political parties. Since there is such a difference in the views within parties, it made me wonder why they exist.

I came to the conclusion that political parties are nothing but stereotypes. When someone says "Democrat" you will most likely think of a person who is "hippie-like". Legalize marijuana, keep abortion legal, allow gay marriages, pass strict laws restricting greenhouse gas emissions. You know. Tree hugging stuff, right? Just like if someone says "Republican" you might think of a conservative bible-thumper. "Pro-life", strict immigration laws, few social services, allow the teaching of intelligent design in schools. At least that is what pops into my mind. I realize not everyone has these stereotypical views but I believe many people do.

I consider myself to be a Democrat but I do have a few views that would be considered somewhat conservative and I know that countless others have the same dilemma. Sometimes it can be difficult to classify yourself when someone asks you "Are you a Democrat or Republican?" It can create an awkward situation like "Um, well, I think I'm a conservative Democrat. Or maybe a liberal Republican? I'm not too sure...". Then, given the stereotypes, it seems like you are contradicting your own views.

Why have political parties in the first place? So people can feel like they belong somewhere? Comfort in numbers? The whole concept just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I should accept it and move on with my life?

Basically, I think the political parties are imaginary.

The Cautionary Whale

Yes, Leana is still alive. Leana is also speaking in third person, which is never good for her.  She will be back with more posts soon, as they are all in her head but she is too lazy to type them all out. If she waits too long, though, her head will start oozing with mixed up ideas. That may be when the therapist is called in. We shall see.

[For anyone who was wondering, the title is from Juno, a fabulous movie that everyone should check out. It is Leana's favourite. Rawr.]